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I’m not sure if this rooted in jealousy on my friend’s part or that because they used to sleep with me they expect higher standards from me. If anyone has any experience with this, I’d welcome the advice.
To be fair though, I’m not really that concerned, more curious than anything else. I opened a set last weekend at a house party and within 10 minutes a drunk girl blurts out, “Why aren’t you making out with the three of us right now?”
I can’t fathom how easy things will be when I’m thirty.
on January 29, 2013 at 8:59 pm
lol’ed at the humblebrag too. In all seriousness regarding your question tho:
1) in life, other people will try to determine your values for you and what you’re “allowed” to do, based on their perception of you. Are you some dark bad boy who bangs vampire chicks? Stay away from those sweet girl-next-door girls! Are you some computer nerd? Don’t talk to girls or try to improve yourself just be happy playing Warcraft and dying alone! Are you a good-looking rich guy? Don’t marry the average 6 who treats you good! Are you a short guy? Don’t hit on those tall girls!
If you want to get more in-depth, your breaking out what they consider acceptable (based on their own label of you) forces them to re-evaluate their own identities which their ego can struggle with and lash out at you for causing it. ie – a girl thinks she only sleeps with Nice Guys, then she finds out her boyfriend is banging a bunch of chicks on the side. Now her own identity has to be questioned because she slept with a Player, but her identity is that she only sleeps with Nice Guys. So either she has to accept that her identity must be wrong which opens a floodgate of questions and self-doubts (do I like Players despite other women telling me not to? am I a bad judge of character when I thought I was good? were my other BFs Players and I’m just stupid? I always believed Players only sleep with sluts so if he’s a Player am I a slut?), and she’ll often brainwash herself with cognitive dissonance and hamster-spinning to avoid having to answer all those questions and re-evaluate herself and her identity because most people, women especially, are completely self-unaware and are encouraged not to really know themselves or dig deep…or she’ll have to shame, insult, threaten, embarrass, etc you into behaving in the manner she expects you to so that her Identity can remain in-tact.